Pie Salad

So I realized that after years of writing articles that are read mostly by my mother and Adam Buck, I have really only trained myself to write 500-700 word pieces or lengthy academic essays. This is not good because 1) I am no longer in school 2) Articles are meant for newspapers and the like, but I don't write for a newspaper and probably won't for awhile, if ever, and 3) I get bloggers block, which is really pathetic, because the entire point of these things is that people write whatever pours out of their heads. To combat this problem I have decided to list things that I've been doing/thinking about doing in the hopes of weaning myself off the pretend article writing system.

• Last week I sang karaoke at a bar called Tam O'Shanty in Lincoln, Nebraska. I don't know what those words conjure up for you, but if your mental picture does not include red shag carpeting-cum-wallpaper; three men wearing cowboy hats in a non-ironic manner (and one did sing Johnny Cash- of course); an older man who could only make it off his stool to tell me about growing up in North Dakota; a dude named Dave who got so drunk for his birthday that the only song he could successfully sing parts of was Rock Lobster, or me and my new friend leading a bar full of drunks in Salt N' Pepa's classic Shoop, than your mental image was incorrect.
• Back in Vermillion... I hung out with Christine Gallati and Mom. Yes, it's true, I live in a town where the only thing we could think to do on a Friday night was walk around WalMart drinking strawberry milk and eating donuts. To be fair, if Christine had not just spent THIRTEEN hours in the car with her mom we probably would have been collectively coherent enough to pull it together and hang out in a bar. No matter, Christine is da bomb and it was great, if not a little disconcerting, to see her here.
• I spend a lot of time staring at the wild turkeys that hang out on the lawn of my friends house. Have you seen wild turkeys? Have I talked about this already? They are really ugly and look kind of like dinosaurs and when they get angry they puff up and their face turns bright blue and they look like the salt and pepper shakers people use on Thanksgiving, but less majestic and more bizarre.
• People here are OBSESSED with Lewis and Clark. To be fair, I don't know that residents really care so much, but a few years ago it was the sesquicentennial (?) of their expedition and so everything is Lewis and Clark this and Lewis and Clark that. Usually I don't care, but I swam in the Missouri river this weekend and it was pretty amazing. Sad as it is, I don't know that I've ever swam in a river. Is this possible? I was so surprised by the current that I have to think that actually I have never experienced anything like it. The stretch of river between Vermillion and Yankton (near by) is the only not-dammed, unmanipulated stretch and so it actually feels like you are looking at what Lewis and Clark, et. al saw. This is cool.
• My new favorite thing to talk about is the electric company magazine. Let me explain, they have recipes every month that are submitted by their customers and are based around a theme. July's theme was salad, this makes sense because summertime means fresh vegetables and light, breezy suppers. Apparently, salad in South Dakota means things like Pie Salad. Where you, no joke, mix a can of pie filling with a can of drained pineapple and mix it together. Whatever, you may be saying, the only funny thing about that is the name, it's just a variation on fruit salad, but wait! The only salad with vegetables calls for canned vegetables and a cup of sugar. What?

That seems good for now. I will do this more often, don't give up hope. You can look forward to my thoughts on the poetry slam tomorrow night, my experiences transcribing 35 year old tapes in the Oral History Center, and my continuing quest to find friends.